It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
