Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
