the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize