Say something about gay babies.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
