I cockslap morals
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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