Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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