well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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