Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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