this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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