it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
