This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
