i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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