"it" just moved
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
