she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize