Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
