Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
