If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
