Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
