how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
