I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
