that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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