First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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