Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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