we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
