Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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