So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
