Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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