you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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