Just mADE A PArabola og urine
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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