I'm so fucking centered right now
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
