6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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