How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
