I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i out mim tonsoeep
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