i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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