Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
