This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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