I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
only if we run a train.
done.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
