Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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