Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we're making bets on your personal life
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
