i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
