ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
