Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
