every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
