also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
