Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
No subtext here. People are naked.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
