Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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