you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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