turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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