How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
