i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
