He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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