We're facebook friends in real life
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
