He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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