so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
