I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Pooping to opera.
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