the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
