Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
