Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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