Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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