was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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