I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
