the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
