they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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