Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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