My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
