I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
