if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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