we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
